"Buckle Up", I said to my daughter for the third time before pulling out of the parking lot. It was what I like to call "prime time". It's when the kids are fed, rested and about an hour away from their next meltdown.Protein shake in hand, we dart out to "Kroger", the local HFCS infected grocery store because we are out of milk, diapers, canned mandarin oranges (Alex's favorite) and sweet italian sausages - a staple in my husband's diet.
We get to Kroger and DAMMIT, we need to find a restroom. It's what I get for drinking a half gallon of water during my workout with Pam. Ok, now that that's taken care of we can get down to business. Milk? Check! Diapers? Check! Italian sausages? Check! Canned light mandarin oranges? Uh-yeah, looks like we have a problem.
When we get to the isle I can't find the light variety that is free of high fructose corn syrup. I know they carry them so why can't I see them? So I proceed to climb the shelves at Kroger to get to the top shelf because I am determined to find them.
My 5-year old daughter, of course, saw this as her BIG CHANCE to remove a toy from it's packaging and claim that she had "found it". I have to admit that in the past if we've been out an about and she's found a crusty old toy somewhere I have been known to say, "great honey - you can keep it". But this time was different. What she didn't know was that I had caught a glimpse of that toy before beginning my relentless hunt for the light canned mandarin oranges.
I scolded her and told her that what she was doing was stealing and that it was wrong to steal. After she apologized I hear someone sternly clearing their throat behind me. When I look over I see older woman, probably in her mid-70's, who is staring at me, fuming and she says, "ANY DAY NOW!"
Well talk about bad timing because I chewed this woman's head off for not wanting to move 12 inches to the left. There I was raising my voice to this woman as she motioned to ram her shopping cart into mine! OK so maybe I overreacted just a wee bit when I told her, "Does it look like I have eyes on the back of my head!"
Now that the dust has settled all I have to say is this: If it weren't for the damn corn syrup taking over America I would have my mandarin oranges and not this image of an evil old woman trying to attack me with her shopping cart
To read more from Tania click on this link: http://itsallabigscam.blogspot.com/
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2 comments:
I hesitate to write this about mandarin oranges...they too were a staple in our house until I realized that they were from China...a country with HORRIBLE water problems! And what do you think those mandararin oranges are packed in? Municipal Chinese water... I mean if we can't trust their toys why should I trust their produce? Sorry if I just added more wory to your load! Maybe you'll have a different opinion that will ease my conscience and we can eat mandarin oranges again! Have a great day!
Very funny and eerily reminiscent of days through which I have slogged. I think it fairly safe to assume that the scowling woman has in some manner been stealing something in her own right. A very brief investigation would suffice to prove it. I completely agree with the subtle anti-corn syrup undertone of your commentary. As vegetarians (when out of the clutches of grandma) my family would have escaped from this particular moment of discomfort, there having been no sausage diversion.
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