For some reason I am afraid to even put that down as my title for fear of jinxing it. :P Obviously I am unsure whether or not I should compete in a figure competition again. I'll admit it - it's all FEAR based. I should know that I am a lot stronger than that. I have proven myself before. So what if I am not in contest shape - I'm getting so much stronger now and can lift more than I ever have before.
But do I really want to go through it all again? The post-competition stuff really took its toll on me and it was probably one of the hardest times of my life. Harder than childbirth, more difficult than dealing with death (gee that sounds a little dramatic, I know). But the mental and physical changes that take place during it all are so grueling that I don't know if I want to put myself through it all again. And what's worse is that very few people can relate to what you are going through. At least with childbirth so many people experience it.
Back in September I kind of decided that I wasn't going to compete again because I wanted to be "normal" again, but I tried to be "normal" again for a little while; eating whatever I wanted and drinking if I wanted while still weight training/exercising, but I quickly learned that it just wasn't possible to do that. Let's just say that it affected me in every way shape and form - mentally, hormonally, physically. I was more tired, my skin wasn't the same, I was starting to feel depressed, the list goes on. All because I changed my diet!
So I relearned something that I have always known deep down but did not want to believe - that you have to have the right balance between diet and exercise to lead a healthy lifestyle and to stay in the game - that is figure competing. Not to mention if you want to have the energy to train right. So what if I can't have my cake and eat it too. I know that my body and my mind are happiest when I eat clean, abstain from drinking and stick to my training/workout regimen.
To compete or not to compete? That is still the question.
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5 comments:
Well Stacey went through a lot of what you went through...said she'd never do that again....and now she is competing again...and loving it! I think you learn something everytime...and either you love it or you hate it...I think your still on the fence so why not give it another try...just a thought!! Good to see you posting again :)
Hey Tina! So nice to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I think you're right on learning something different every time. I think I'd do better post comp the 2nd time around or at least I'd like to hope so. I guess we mature just a little bit every day. You're training for the Arnold right? You looked FABULOUS at your last comp girl! You had confidence oozing out of you!
XO, Tania
PS - Are you still in MI?
Hi Tania,
Found your blog because I clicked on another blog you posted to (one that had a cozonac recipe - I just made my first cozonac ever, and ... the initial reviews are positive). I'm beyond impressed with your fitness achievements and goals. I'm a wannabe runner carrying 15-20 extra lbs and people with your will power fill me with admiration. Right now I'm regretting the large piece of cozonac I just "sampled". Please tell me you were a slacker at least at some point in your life, and then became infinitely better through some kind of miracle that I myself can have :-)
Anyway, wonderful photos.
Hi Monica - thanks for stopping by my blog. Was I ever a slacker? Absolutely. And I struggled with my weight during my teenage years, but all of that just led to a passion for fitness and living a healthy lifestyle. I would never go back to the way I used to be. Not to mention - the older I get the more sensitive/aware/in tune I am with my body so it becomes less about will power and more about "that french fry will give me a stomachache". I will admit that I did have a nice piece of cozonac when I baked my two loaves and I savored every bite, but in my opinion a homemade sweetbread is the least of our worries especially compared to all of the junk you find at the grocery stores. Good luck with your running. Take care!
It is rather interesting for me to read the blog. Thank you for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.
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